Ann Bradstreet
1- Of course, the most obvious one is : I will be committed to one person- unless a different commitment is made by both partners due to unforeseen and unavoidable conditions.
2- I will deeply respect my lover. The latest research in psychology has found that disdain is THE relationship killer! (No surprise there...)
3- I will help my partner grow into his/her most happy, fulfilled self!
4- Each time I criticize my partner, I will have the courage to look into myself, honestly searching
for the same trait that irritates me about him/her. This usually occurs in a different arena of life. This introspection will often lead you (surprisingly) to recognize that you do indeed possess the same trait. Therefore, you cannot throw a stone. You will reach a state of compassion: "Like me, my partner does the best he/she can with the conditioning he/she has incurred in life."
5- I will do whatever it takes to keep and develop the trust of my partner. Trust is the foundation of a relationship. One must do anything it takes to maintain that trust.
6- I will be willing to grow and change when conflicts and challenges arise. Difficulty always rears its head at some point. The couples who are able to grow... through some inner work... (together, not just one of them) will enjoy longevity of togetherness.
7- I take full responsibility for my own happiness. I will do what I need to do to find inner peace and joy; I will not require my partner to do that for me.
8- I will let him/her be free to find his/her happiness also, as long as his/her activities are respectful of me as the other committed partner.
9- I will accept my partner fully, including every "flaw", and stop wishing for him/her to change. When any shortcoming of your partner triggers irritation for you, there two choices: either do your inner work and come to fully accept him/her, or respectfully leave the relationship. People are miserable when they absolutely try to make things work by hoping that their partner will change. They are in total misalignment as they entertain this notion.
10- I will continue growing and learning so that I evolve into an ever-interesting and multi-faceted individual who has an abundance to offer and share. You will prevent boredom by reinventing your life periodically and preserving the interest and sizzle that began the relationship initially.
If you observe closely, all of these commitments are in fact based on self-love and on unconditional love. When you learn to love in both these ways, you will automatically support your partner in their own growth and never hinder him/her. In such a supportive environment, there is then no reason for leaving your partner... ever. You become a team, helping each other realize goals (both common and individual) to the fullest.!
A Unique Gift For the One You Love